Thursday, May 21, 2015

Heh Heh Heh.

I don't drink and drive.  I'm past the point of bad drunken decisions out in public (mostly).  Still, I had a taste for rum a few nights ago.  And this was the result.  Maybe the best $20 I've ever spent.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

State of the Union

Is 1:05 in the morning, after drinking 2/3 of a bottle of rum, a bad time for doing a State of the Union?

I'm sure our country was founded on just as similar a state of thought.

I'm on the second to last day of vacation.

It was a good one.

Got to spend time with Shyam over at Fall Creek Falls.

Got to watch a couple of movies.

Got some writing done.

I'm 38.

I'm in love with a Beautiful Woman who makes me think, and makes me smile.

I'm an Assistant Manager at a Grocery Store.

I'm in a job that I have ample tolerance for, though I sometimes question the logistics of advancement.

I write.  Sometimes enough to quiet that Demon in my head, though it's been 10 years since I've published anything.

I have no children.  This doesn't bother me.  World population is big enough..  Though it was a pleasure to see my friends Julie & John's kids today.

I don't envy you people with kids, what with your excess of responsibility. I like being able to go to a concert on a school night.  Still, being the least male heir in the particular branch of a family tree:  that's troublesome.

I don't know.  I don't want to have kids.  I'm much too selfish.  Is there a way to jump right to completion? You've completed enough Grown Up Hit Points, so thus you get progeny to carry on your family name?

Friday, May 15, 2015

Share a Coke

 Well, an inquiry to the nice folks at Coca Cola for their Share a Coke promotion has yielded info that they will not put Big Stupid Tommy on a Coke Bottle.

The same day of that inquiry, I received an astounding 500+ hits to this aging blogamathing.

My normal for a day is about 100.  Mostly from google searches for Leslie Easterbrook topless photos.

So, if I do indeed have Coke people vetting my site to see if it's safe for me to put Big Stupid Tommy on a Coke bottle, I just wanna say hello!  And share this photo:

Thank You.  And Good Day.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

May 10, 2015

Saturday, May 09, 2015


I'm just going to leave this here, because it made me laugh this morning.

My Problem with the Age of Ultron.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

In which he keeps thinking about the Avengers 5 days after seeing the flick

Spoilers, probably.

Shyam and I went to see the new Avengers flick last week.  We were thinking of waiting for our work schedules to give us a better time, but we both ended up with an evening off last Friday, so we wandered into the town's old theater made new to catch the movie.

First, a couple of quick thoughts....

I was hoping for a larger turnout for our new theater, the remodeled and rebuilt Plaza Twin (now the five-screen Athens Movie Palace).  Our theater was about 2/3 full.  I'm really rooting for this theater to do well, if only because it's nice having a theater again 5 minutes from my house.  I feel a little bad not supporting it more in its first 3 months of business.  Avengers: Age of Ultron was only the second flick we'd gone to see there, but it's also only the second flick either of us has seen in the theater this year.  The movie offerings haven't held much for us in the early part of 2015.   2/3 full theater is probably a good enough turnout.  I don't know the particulars of the financials there.

Ironically, though, I found myself wishing it was less crowded.  I don't like going to crowded movies.  People don't know how to behave.  Many "grownups" nowadays can't stay off their phones for the duration of a movie, and tend to talk a lot.  This flick, as expected, was heavily infested with kids.  And I can't get too mad at kids.  They were excited.  Still, when the five year old girl behind us was squealing loudly any time Thor came on screen, and repeating the dialog back to the screen just short of a shout, we ended up having to move after several minutes.  To their credit, the father shushed her, and ended up taking her out of the theater a couple times.

To the movie?

I liked it.  I thought it was solid, if not the spectacular I wanted it to be.

Two quibbles (shortly, because I realized it's about a half-hour later than I thought, and I'm going to make myself late for work):

1.)  I don't feel as strongly as some (including Shyam) about the Black Widow's short shrift when it comes to back story.  While I can't holler about the sexism as strongly, I don't feel like it fit her character in the least, and felt really, really cheap.  I like the character enough that if you feel like you have to give her a backstory, then give her own flick to do it.  Scarlet Johansson is strong enough by far to carry her own feature.  And don't let her origin story be a flashback and a crying jag.  Doesn't befit the character.  Like I said, felt cheap.

2.)  I feel like the Hulk was a missed opportunity here.  And his just leaving in a Quinjet felt wrong.  And I think it was a missed opportunity.  You gotta think Hulk will be back, especially for the Infinity War movies here in a few years.  Why not add some mystery or suspense to the story?  In my mental rewrite, you have Iron Man and Thor trying to take out Ultron's weapon.  Have something happen to Thor (perhaps get taken out by the Hulk?).  And in Thor's place, have Hulk detonate the weapon on his end.  You could even have a moment where, in leaping in to sacrifice his friend, Hulk becomes worthy to wield Mjolnir.  And in the explosion, the Hulk disappears.  He would be believed dead.  You could have a scene though (perhaps a cut scene in the credits) where Thor calls Mjolnir, and it finally returns to him, after tearing through space.  He reveals that Banner isn't dead, but alive somewhere else, and transported via rip in time and space, or perhaps the hammer.  And then you leave Hulk open to return in Infinity War, or perhaps even in one of the Marvel Cosmic movies.

Or, the Hulk fan in me says, in a Planet Hulk movie.

Because Planet Hulk still is one of my favorite comic stories.....

Anyway.  It wasn't a bad flick.  I gave it a 7/10 on IMDB.  I enjoyed it enough that I'll probably go see it again in the theater....

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


A couple days ago, a few buddies and I did our second annual Cincinnati Sprint, wherein we leave Athens, head to Cincinnati for a day game, and come home that night.  All told, it's not a ridiculous trip, but it's about 620 miles round trip.

My buddy Jeff's a Reds fan.  We did this last year because he hadn't been to a Reds game since they'd moved into Great American Ballpark.  Life being what it is, he usually caught them in Atlanta when they came by.  We decided to go last year, and saw them play the Blue Jays.

Well, I got a wild hair up my ass to see the Cubs, since I wouldn't be able to see them in Atlanta (my boss is on vacation the weekend that they're down there), I'd try to see them in Cincinnati.

Just so happened that the Cubs were in town a weekend I already had marked to be off.

We went.

Good game.  Cubs won.

Killer seats.  Found on Stubhub.

Todd Frazier hit a solo shot for the Reds that wanders right over our heads.  We made the highlight reel.

I'm in my Ryne Sandberg t-shirt and cap.  My buddy Jeff is right next to me.  Frazier's home run goes about 3 feet over our heads, and lands in the lap of a guy sitting around the fifth or sixth row...

Monday, April 27, 2015

The problem with America

How completely fucking odd.  I had a post here.  Bloggermathing ate it.  This post?  Is not the original post.

It wasn't long, but it had a couple points.  Basically, it came down the fact that we have too many assholes in this country.

So.  Stop being assholes.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Family Histories and Ben Affleck

I haven't read anything on Ben Affleck's embarrassment about an ancestory being a slaveholder.  I did catch a bit on the evening news last night, and I think I have the gist:  He found out an ancestor was a slaveholder, and he's embarrassed about it.  Correct me if I'm wrong.

Well, Ben, Congratulations!  Welcome to the melting pot that is the gene pool that led up to you.

Look, you go five generations back, you're looking at 32 different people, who coupled and ended up producing you.  You go back six, and you've got 64 people.

Here's the the thing.  Look at your family now.  Can you do anything about what Cousin Butch does?  Maybe, if you're name is Cousin Luke, and you're a WWE Hall of Famer, but I'm guessing not.

Now, what about those people who are dead?  Can you go back in time and talk to them?  Maybe teach them the folly of their ways?  I'd like to ask that of Ben Affleck specifically, because I still feel like there's some weird shit going on with his being cast as Batman, and I think traveling through time, altering events so that happenstance lines up according his design might be an answer to many of my questions.

Anyway, here's my point.  If you go back 6 generations in my own family tree?  You have slaveholders.  We've found the proof.  One ancestor in Georgia owned about 30, at one count.

Also in my family tree?  A preacher who fought for abolition, who served in the Union Army.

There's everything in your family tree, Ben.  You can't help what's there.  I know.  I've got a butt-ton of cousins procreating in Grainger County, Tennessee, between the years 1800 and 1900.  And that number of 64 people when you go back 6 generations?  I've only got 62 individuals, owing to the same person occupying two different spots in the tree.  So if anybody should be embarrassed, it's me, for my love of applesauce.

None of this even mentions the 19 cousins on both sides of my family that are still alive today that I couldn't force to go an any direction but the one they decide is right.

We're an obstinate bunch, that way.

My point is this:  you can't pick your family.  Even less can you pick your ancestors.  And if you're embarrassed by what's there, then you're not the guy who should be playing Batman....

Monday, April 20, 2015

Tweets and Twisters

This morning's read from NPR, about Social Media and Weather and News Reporting....

Makes me think of the tornado outbreak that blew through this neck of the woods about four years ago.  I worked a longass day that day.  Followed news on TV and Twitter that night.  One particular set of tweets, about the storm that ran through Ringgold, with tweets about one of the sister stores of the company I work for being completely destroyed.  That set of tweets, retweeted by news twitter feeds as well as individuals, was incorrect.

Food for thought, for yours truly, especially since the bulk of my news comes from social media, anymore....

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Three minor things I do not shy away from, when confronted, though I tend to omit them in polite conversation with complete strangers.

  • I do not think much of the movie The Sandlot.  I don't dislike it.  It's not a bad movie.  It just never made any particular impression on me.  I've never really understood the fervor with which its adherents stand by.  I'm not knocking it, because I have my own sacred cows, for sure.  I'd long held that maybe I was just the wrong age when the movie came out.  My sister loves this movie.  LOVES THIS MOVIE.  Probably more than she loves me.  She was of an age with the kids in the movie, at the time the movie came out.  I tend to think Goonies and Explorers hit the same sort of note for me, a few years earlier, for a lot of the same reasons.
  • I am uncomfortable with the use of the adjective "savory," when describing a dish.  I am even less comfortable with other folks using the adjective, wielding it like a kid who's found a sword and waves it wildly because they've seen it on tv.  It seems too many things go into the word.  Sweet, sour, salty, I'm right with you.  Savory just doesn't work for me.  Seems too subjective.  Also seems like a word people hear on cooking shows and then use themselves to seem smart.  But then, maybe they do understand, and I don't, and this fact is what I am most uncomfortable with.
  • Over the course of several conventions, I made it my mission to get a picture of myself and Gary Coleman, without paying the exorbitant Gary Coleman fee.  I was never successful.  I got a good picture of Coleman, while trying to catch my mug in the shot, too.  If you look at it a certain way, it looks like Gary Coleman is peering into a giant ear.  (A certain way might involve lots of alcohol).  I am not proud of my quest.  Gary's been dead 5 years, this year.  Time flies, don't it?

Monday, March 23, 2015

In which our hero responds to a Buzzfeed list about food

Just minor thoughts of response to a Buzzfeed list about the 31 Weirdest Foods in America

This list, and my responses.

1.  Olive Loaf

I have tried.  I don't dislike, though I couldn't tell you the last time I had any.

2.  Jell-O Salad

It's not a pot luck in Tennessee unless somebody brings a Jell-O salad.  I think it's state law.  And that being the case, it means it's time to overthrow the current goverment, and violently.

3.  Koolickles

I have heard of these, but I have not tried.  I find myself intrigued.

4.  Chicken and Waffles

A combination that has grown on me.  Yes.

5.  Scrapple

I have tried.  It's not my thing, though if you're eating a sausage patty, you're only eating a differently spiced cousin of Scrapple.  Incidentally, my pilot for Cousin of Scrapple starts shooting next week.  We got Richard Moll, you guys!

6.  Grits

You're not allowed to vote in Tennessee unless you eat a bowl of grits, first.  Seriously, we need to look at the rulebook in this state.

7.  Deep Fried Butter

Though it may surprise you, I have never tried such a thing, nor am I in much of a rush, too.  I'm a little curious, sure.  Who isn't when you're young and out on your own?  But the time for such experimentation is in my past....

8.  Chitterlings

I have tried.  They didn't taste bad, I will admit.  Still, knowledge of what part of the anatomy they are, combined with the troubling texture make these things not something your old pal Tommy hungers for.

9.  Kraft Singles

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that they're good, or good for you.  But I have bought them.  I will buy them again.  Probably in bulk.

10.  Ambrosia Salad

Again, something of a potluck staple on those Sundays after church.  I have eaten.  I would hesitate, given the severe distaste for marshmallows I've developed in the past decade.

11.  Sloppy Joe.

Hells yes I've eaten a sloppy joe.  I've eaten a sloppy joe made out of goat meat.  This last phrase is on my business card.

12.  Pop Tarts

Hells yes I've eaten a Pop Tart, though I didn't get them as a kid.  I think this was due to my mother's severe phobia for the number 11, thus preventing our owning a toaster.

13.  Chicken Fried Steak

Again, Tennessee.  If Tennessee had it's own currency, it would have Chicken Fried Steak on the 5 note.

14.  Tater Tot Casserole

Yes.  I would eat a baking dish full of it now.  You think I won't?  Winner gets the other's car title.  We're doing this.  (No we're not).

15.  Red-Eye Gravy

The lady who took care of me when I was little would feed us Red-Eye Gravy.  In our bottles.

16.  Gumbo

It is the only way I will take my okra.  I realize this bars me from holding office in Tennessee,  We really need to change the Constitution, guys, though I'm really for putting Chicken Fried Steak on the money.  Or perhaps using it as money.

17.  Fry Sauce

Nope.  Not rushing out to find any, but I would try some.

18.  Twinkies

Come on now.  You think I look like I do without eating a Twinkie or three?  I'm not a great fan of the Twinkie, though.  If you're going Hostess, you should go with a Zinger.  Although naming a snack "Ding Dong" is tremendous fun, especially at family gatherings.  Which I don't get invited to, anymore.

19.  Sweet Potato and Marshmallow

Yep.  And what the fuck, America?  Stop it with the marshmallows.  It's like a nation full of gummy joes wandering around needing to mush their foods and enjoy the texture as it plops off your soft palate.

20.  Burgoo

Never even heard of such a mess.  I wouldn't turn it down, though, if somebody were to offer me a spoonful.

21.  Green Bean Casserole

Guys, the State of Tennessee keeps the Hanover Bean Company afloat with how many giant cans of Hanover Green Beans they buy each holiday.  Have I mentioned how much one of those big cans hurts when it falls onto your foot?  I'd have guessed as much, but these things happen when you're building a display of the things.  Note to Hanover:  Round the bottoms of your cans, assholes.

22.  Peeps

Dammit, America.  What is your obsession with peeps?  What folly.  Easter candy in general is firmly planted  in the gutter, what with its emphasis on Peeps, Cadbury Snot Eggs and the broken promise that is the hollow chocolate bunny.  Still, there's some props to be given.  I'd never have thought a marshmallow could be much more disgusting, but then they've decided to add sugary grit to that gooey garbage.

23.  The Doughnut Burger

You know, this gives me pause.  I have not tried.  I like burgers.  I like doughnuts.  I'm just not sure I'd like them together.   I'd try it.  I just don't think I'd like it.

24.  Mayonnaise

What's wrong with mayonnaise?  I mean, it's not like I eat more than a jar of it a week.  Ever meet somebody who made their own mayonnaise?  And I'm not talking about some sick joke, though my mind went there almost immediately.  Seriously, though.  Made their own?  Those people are heroes, guys.  And they're what makes America great.

25.  Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches

I dislike this item's inclusion in the list.  Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches are awesome.  I have tried them fried, but I prefer them plain.  It's the only time I like white bread, too. Though I feel it's as good as time as any to mention that bananas should be sliced like poker chips, on the sandwich.  There is no alternative.   None.

26.  Rocky Mountain Oysters

Yes.  And I knew what they were.  They weren't horrible, though if something's breaded and deep fried, it's almost always good (excepting Okra).  I don't rush out to get them.  I don't order them.  But I've tried.

27.  Cincinnati Chili

Yep.  It's not bad, though I certainly wish the people of Cincinnati weren't so proud of it.

28.  Chicken Gizzards

I have tried them.  I luckily did not inherit my Dad's gene that makes him eat these like he's going to win a prize for it.  If I had a dollar for every time I saw him sharing these treats with the family dog, while I, my sister and Mom looked on, wondering why he'd spent his entire paycheck on chicken gizzards?  He'd probably knock me on my ass, and take that dollar to go buy chicken gizzards.

29.  Pickled Pigs Feet

They're not deplorable, but they're not worth the mess you make of your tuxedo when eating them.

30.  Meat Loaf

I enjoy this food, though not nearly as much as I enjoy the musical stylings of Marvin Aday.  And this is perhaps the truest statement I have made in the 13+ year history of this blogamathing.

31.  The KFC Double Down

I tried it.  It wasn't bad, though the two chicken patties are somewhat unwieldy.  I had to fashion a more adequate handhold by placing the sandwich in between two patties from a Hardee's Monster Burger, and then tying the whole thing together using beef and cheddar from an Arby's Beef and Cheddar.  My heart leapt out of my chest and helped me eat this thing, that's how much I loved it.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Big Stupid Tommy Fast Food Review: The Cheddar Bo

After weeks of seeing the insipid commercial for the Cheddar Bo for weeks now, I decided to try one.

I cannot dissuade stringently enough from trying this.

The theory itself is sound.  Cheese.  Bread in biscuit form.  Both things I enjoy.

The practice is an exercise in overkill, however.  There is too much cheese to make the thing an enjoyable breakfast food.

I ordered through the drive-thru.  This is an important factor.  If I get a breakfast food from a fast food place, it is through the drive-thru.  I'm a busy man.  Places to go.  People to see.  I'm that guy you see trying to jam a steak and egg biscuit down his gullet at the red light in Calhoun, chasing it with coffee blacker than the night he's driving to work in.

The Cheddar Bo is not a good food to eat in your car.  The cheese skirt (which is so delightfully and not condescendingly at all described in the spot above) welds the cheese to the foil it is wrapped in, if you do not get to the food soon enough after it is removed from the oven.  Bojangles biscuits are crumbly, in my experience, and prone to disintegration if the correct biscuit keystone is removed during eating.  There is not a solid enough medium in the biscuit to maintain structural integrity, when trying to remove cheese and biscuit from the foil.

I very likely broke several traffic laws in the midst of trying to remove biscuit from foil.

I ended up driving up Highway 11 eating crumbles of biscuit, and chasing it with a wad of melted and re-solidified mild cheddar cheese.

The cheese is a quandary.  I suggest this to the fine folks at Bojangles:  find a sharper cheddar, for more taste, and then use less.  Otherwise, you've got something people will either have to use two hands to eat, or use a fork and knife.  For a convenient breakfast food, it sucks....

Tuesday, March 17, 2015


I've been going through some old comic boxes that I haven't gone through, it would seem, in more than ten years.  Getting ready to get rid of some.  Ebay.  Give some to the nephew.  Some to young friends Shyam has at the fisheries.  Point is, I don't need a few hundred pounds of fire hazard sitting in the hall closet.

At the bottom of one of the boxes, I found a yellow legal pad.

I've got dozens of these things around the house.  I make lists.  I write longhand.  I doodle.  They're just handy.

On this particular one, in early 2004, I'd started keeping track of the movie I watched.

I'd forgotten completely about this little project.  2004 was an odd year.  I was working third shift.  I didn't have a roommate, for the first time.  Since I was paying rent without help, I didn't have a lot of extra dough, so very few of these were seen in a theater.  Most were what I had on hand at the house, or rented (most likely from Videoculture, may she rest in peace...)

In July of that year, I moved back over to East Tennessee.  It was in the course of packing that I through this pad into the comic box, where it remained covered for nearly 11 years.

So apropos of nothing else, here's a list of the movies I watched from January through the middle of June, 2004:

1/1     Cold Mountain
1/1     Big Trouble
1/2     Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
1/4     Willard
1/5     Empire Records
1/6     Jeepers Creepers 2
1/9     American Wedding
1/13   The Twelve Chairs
1/14   Heroic Trio
1/14   Lost in Translation
1/17   Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
1/19   UHF
1/21   the Thirteenth Warrior
1/24   Johnny English
1/24   Open Range
1/25   Straw Dogs
1/25   the Killing
1/26   Cabin Fever
1/26   The Medallion
1/26    CQ
1/29   Star Trek VI: the Undiscovered Country
1/30   Star Trek VI: the Undiscovered Country (w/ commentary)
2/5     Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2/6     Melvin Goes to Dinner
2/6     Buffalo Soldiers
2/6     Night on Earth
2/7     Mallrats
2/7     Animal House
2/10     Independence Day
2/12     Jurassic Park
2/13    Thirteen
2/15     American Splendor
2/21     Road to Perdition
2/21     Rear Window
2/22     Runaway Jury
2/23     Brother from Outer Space
2/23     the Secret Lives of Dentists
2/23     Transformers: the Movie
2/26     Karate Kid
2/28     8-Mile
2/29     Hard Trip
2/29     Swimming Pool
2/29     Casino
3/1      Apollo 13
3/1     Club Dread
3/3     National Lampoon's Vacation
3/6    Dream Team
3/6    Intolerable Cruelty
3/7    A Shot in the Dark
3/7    Whipped
3/8    School of Rock
3/8    Shadow of the Vampire
3/13    Mona Lisa Smile
3/15    Spaceballs
3/20    The Missing
3/21    Underworld
3/21    Matchstick Men
3/22   Gremlins
3/23    A Mighty Wind
3/27    Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
3/28    O Brother Where Art Thou?
4/2     Hellboy
4/3    Clerks
4/4    Radio
4/5   St. Francisville Experiment
4/8      Batman Returns
4/9      the Alamo
4/10     It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
4/14    Ghostbusters
4/19    Looney Toons:  Back in Action
4/19    Timeline
4/20    the Shining
4/20    Monty Python and the Holy Grail
4/23    Stand by Me
4/24    Rain Man
4/25    Kill Bill, volume 1
4/25    Veronica Guerin
5/1     Star Trek IV: the Voyage Home
5/2    Star Trek V: the Final Frontier
5/3    Signs
5/5    Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
5/8    the Big Empty
5/9    Star Wars
5/9    Big Fish
5/12    Super Troopers
5/14   Star Trek: First Contact
5/18    Miracle
5/19    The Cooler
5/21    Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
5/25    Police Academy 2
5/27    The Day the Earth Stood Still
5/28    Day After Tomorrow
5/30    Weekend at Bernie's
6/2     Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
6/2     Empire Strikes Back
6/2     Return of the Jedi
6/4     Welcome to Mooseport
6/5     Deep Impact
6/6     Troy
6/12    Monster
6/13    Club Dread
6/14    Bubba Ho Tep
6/14    Near Dark

Monday, March 16, 2015


An all female reboot of Highlander with Rebecca Lobo as The Kurgan.

I don't mean that as an insult.  In the least.

Who wouldn't want to see a 6'4" woman swinging a broadsword?

Nobody.  That's who.

Everybody wants to see that.

If they tell you they don't, they're lying.

That would be the most awesome thing that's wandered down the pike since that Krystal commercial I posted a post or two down the page.

I'm also stuck on The Kurgan.  You notice that?  I notice that.  It's my goto 80's movie reference for badass bad guy.

I'm just saying, though.

If I win Powerball, we're gonna do this.